16/05/2007 - A brand nude world

Hello! This first entry contains absolutely no news and is just here to introduce you to the new format. As you can see above this text - assuming you are reading the text and haven't just gone blindly clicking icons already - there is a media player. To the left of it is a little arrow pointing downwards. The media player allows you listen to the news in audio format whereas the little downwards arrow allows you to download the news article as an mp3 file to your hard drive so that you can listen to it at a later date - before exclaiming "What the fuck!? It's only a minute long!".

The only exceptions to this rule will be when I post interviews, because they're likely to be in the region of an hour long and it's physically impossible to for a browser to stay on a single page for that sort of duration. You might want it to, but as soon as you click the link in that e-mail which promised you a huge wang you can be damn sure as mustard that your operating system of choice will choose *this* window as the one to redirect to get-a-giant-cock.com.

So why this dual text and audio format? Well, because people quite liked the podcast and I didn't want to totally abandon it when I went to a more bloggy format. Plus there are certain jokes you can do in an audio format which you simply can't do in text. For instance while you're reading this, the people who chose to use the audio format instead are being treated to me belching the alphabet.

So sometimes the text and audio will differ on the website when the situation demands it. *Sometimes* there will be only audio and no text, although this will be rare... and generally a result of me using lots of words in the audio component that I can't actually spell.

And so without further ado I invite you to read or listen to the first proper news article, in which I try to represent an act of kindness as a horribly selfish deed.

Graham - 16/05/2007